Al Loober - (My Childhood) Shouldn't Even Exist [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

In the beginning:

[Verse 1]
Second of the three born, Irregular speech form
Wandering lonely, neglected like Eeyore
Daydreams daily, takes lessons on keyboard
No need for anything more; This is the life of an in-between boy
Who grows up homeschooled; Known as kept under a low roof
Knows not what he's supposed to; No one knows what he goes through
His own soul is the only that he’s close to
What do you care he thinks? Guarantee he won’t show you
No friends to take for granted, Only the ones that Nate imagined
His brain was plainly absent, Ingrained in the pages at the
Library, he’d blaze through chapters, Of a Brian Jacques’ adventure
No tutor, he’d ace a math test, “Bookworm” was the name that lasted
Until one day he asked to Leave the nest in eighth grade
Wanted to see the rest; Was there as much evilness as the
People said? Parents—didn’t agree just yet
Had to wait to be put in for the spring semester
First day there, everyone’s weird
Doesn’t have an experience in his life to compare
He’s just there, keeps his distance; Nothing new to his existence
Doesn’t know any different than to listen when they quiz him
Give them the answer they seek and that’s it
If people make comments, they get a wink and a grin
No middle-schooler knows what to think of this kid
And after about a month the system’s thinking sinks in
Soon he begins to see who he is
In relation to the others, he’s a geek and a prig
The social fig leaves fall and reveal his skin
And hip-hop…doesn’t even exist

[Hook 1]
It doesn’t even exist
It doesn’t even exist
Doesn't even exist
Hip-hop doesn't even exist
Hip-hop doesn't even exist
Hip-hop doesn't even exist, it goes
Hip-hop doesn't even exist

[Verse 2]
Tell me who taught you how to reach out and make a friend?
What class taught you to smack talk so no one takes offense?
What good is a voice if the language makes no sense?
Wouldn’t make tails or heads if you paid him a cent
For his thoughts, call him awkward, whatever adjective fits
"Social toddler, of course you did class in your crib"
Words don’t work, revert to quirky mannerisms
Can’t answer questions, feels trapped in his skin
Acquainted with hearing “Okay?” with the upspeak
A couple more months to grow accustomed to cussing
People stick up for me like I’m a defenseless puppy
And the bus, jeez! How’d I make it out in one piece?
So yeah, imagine me just being a kid
No heat within my voice, but still seeking to vent
No one goes above and beyond to concede attention
And even if they did, I don’t believe it’s valid
People get concerned cause I don’t speak in public
So hey, here’s my AIM screen name, hear me preach if you wish
Redirect all further inquiries to Bradley or to Mitch
Cause I’m the other brother, I don’t even exist

[Hook 2]
I don’t even exist
I don’t even exist
That's how it feels, you know
You don't even exist
You can't talk, so you don't even exist
Big thoughts, but you don't even exist
Mind's ziplocked, so you don't even...

[Verse 3]
A few years pass, indie rock is my ear crack
I appear to have a knack for finding weird bands
Like a meerkat, I’m just starting to explore the underground
Hunting down just about anything that doesn’t sounds like what is out
On Jammin’ 107.7, all that junk sounds much offensive
Plus how can you comprehend it? I don’t get it
Where’s the talent? That’s just talking to a beat
I could do that downstairs with my Yamaha set to repeat
Hip-hop was lewd to me, but it was also was wooing me
God knew it’d be my soapbox; the proper tool to speak
God was moving me to a place I didn’t understand
Formally introduced to me unusually at my church’s summer camp
I was set in a tent with a friend of a friend
2010, so there was that new song by Eminem
We would mock his inflection and poetic expressions
It was all in jest but then again it was stretching my perceptions
I started to understand the concept of a punch line
I observed and collected what it meant to write good rhymes
So I went home to my desk, drove a pen to some Xerox
And embarked on a journey that I never would steer off
Now it’s me and hip-hop and we breathe the same wind
I write every day; I won’t cease or desist
If I never leave the basement, that’s no reason to quit
Cause without this art form, my speech would be nix
Don’t start me on depression, I’d still be in the pits
And this is the story I will teach to my kids
I thank God above for giving me an outlet
Cause when there’s beauty such as this, you gotta believe He exists
God stretched his disc-scratching hand, and I’m still reaching for it
Turned me to another table and left my ego remixed
You can’t tell me anything in hip-hop is heathen or sin
Cause without God and hip-hop, I don’t even exist

[Hook 3]
I wouldn’t even exist
I wouldn’t even exist
This wouldn't even exist
My whole childhood shouldn't even exist
This song shouldn't even exist
I said, this song couldn't even exist
And this is the story I will teach to my kids
Without Beauty such as this, I wouldn’t even exist