Clayton Jokythur - Fucking Big War I [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[Verse 1]
It was a beautiful day, but hot as hell
I was in my office getting a blowjob
When a meeting was called by high officials
The cause seemed to be a report from intel
The South was trying to get free, they said
But nothing was confirmed at all
The politicians and army tried to decide what they had
To do, and by precaution the soldiers received an emergency call
Be ready, your country might need you
I told them, but I didn't feel ready to lead 'em, that was cruel
And then, when nobody expected
Bombs in the central area, we couldn't do nothing, so we reacted
Nobody knew who dropped the bombs on us
Our technology couldn't find out, it was all a big fuss
But we couldn't let the South free
If the attacks were external, then it was another story
But if the South wanted to challenge the whole country
Then we'd fight back, and who would lead the army? Me
So bombs were dropped there
And they didn't think that was fair
So they did what they thought they should do
Declared war against us, and we did so too
First it was just bombs, missiles, long distance attacks
But this was hard to maintain, it costed racks on racks on racks
And so, both sides took the offensive
When I just wanted to be defensive
Not in the war, not literally
But this was being very hard for me
I didn't like to kill
No, I felt very uncomfortable
And to suffer less I promised to myself: I will
End, win this war as soon as I'm able

[Verse 2]
And as both sides began to mobilize
Their troops and animosity began to rise
As thousands of tortoises moved across the country
Chaos of war spread helplessly
Thefts all around
Fear of being shot by accident
Criminals escaping and not being found
People speculating what the war really meant
And the troops were almost meeting
I was sure we'd end up defeating
Them, we were in higher number
We were eating cucumber
Every day for breakfast
And that makes you stronger
Very damn fast
But when we actually got very close
What happened? Do you suppose
We defeated them easily
No, then began motherfucking trenches
My best soldiers in that hole with me
We were at first sponsored by benches
But they soon reached bankruptcy
Out of money, stuck in that hole
Almost no food, not even hoes
Not an opportunity to attack our foes
Every once in a while a few went out
And they all died, that's what we found out
Cause they didn't come back
No, and it hurt me to know that
Worse than killing
Was letting those children go willing
To fight
Knowing that they might
And probably would not
Return
Time passed so slow
We didn't have where to go
And after very much time, so long
We woke up to the sound of bombs

[Verse 3]
Missiles all around the place
Destroying trenches and making everyone face
The horror of death
Both sides were terribly hit
Intel later said they came from Middle East
No exact location, and as they helped both sides must've been only some test
And we started to come out
I could do nothing but shout
Orders at my men
"Do whatever you can!"
To save yourself
Run, use that tactic we made, stealth
And as we scattered over the battlefield
Using dead shells sometimes as shields
We ran forward
Straight to the South
Both running from the missiles
And using our pistols
To defeat the enemy
To achieve the country's unity
And eventually we did
The war ended, I hid
Myself at home
On my own, all alone
Ashamed and horrified
How many people had died
With this fucking big war
Or even at my own hands
What was I fighting for?
The country's a mess and
Will it ever recover?
Will I ever recover?
Will I someday sleep without dreaming about running for cover
With missiles all over
My head
Surrounded of tortoises that are dead
My friends
My men
I trained them
Commanded 'em
To the death I took 'em
Damn, I'm puking
Just of remembering this
I get down on my knees
And pray for someone to forgive me
For recuperation of the country
And that we fight ourselves no more
I'm done with this fucking big wars