[Intro]
A lot of people ask me
Where the fuck I've been at the last few years
Shit, I don't know but I do know I'm back now
[Hook]
Here comes the rain and thunder now
No where to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Looking for me? I'm underground
[Verse 1]
Dre, I'm down here, under the ground, dig me up
Broken tibias, fibias, yeah, fix me up
60 sluts, all of them dying from asphyxia
After they sip piss through a Christopher Reeves sippy cup
Dixie cups, toxins, boxes of Oxy pads
Enough Oxycontin to send a fuckin' ox to rehab
Wack job in the back in a black stocking cap
Jacking off to a hockey mask at a boxing match
(He can't say that!) Yes he can, I just did, faggot
Now guess again, better text message your next-of-kin
Tell 'em shit's about to get extra messy, especially when I flex again
And throw a fuckin' lesbian in wet cement
Faggoty, faggoty, faggoty, Raggedy Ann and Andy
No! Raggedy Andy and Andy; no, it can't be, it can't be
Yes, it can be, the fucking Anti-Christ is back, Dante
It's Satan in black satin panties
This is Amityville calamity, goddamn it
Insanity pills, fanny pack filled with Xannies
Through every nook and cranny lookin' for trannies
Milk and cookies spilled on my silk negligee, looky
Razor-ba-lades with me to make you ba-leed
Cases of Maybelline makeup lay on a table of weed
"Slim Shady? Shit sounds like a fable to me"
'til he jumps out of the fuckin' toilet when you're taking a pee!
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
6 semen samples, 17 strands of hair
Found in the back of a van after the shoot with Vanity Fair
Hannah Montana, prepare to elope with a can-opener
And be cut open like cantaloupe and canopy beds
And Glad bags, yeah, glad to be back
Cause last year was a tragedy that landed me smack-dab in rehab
Fuckin' doctor, I didn't understand a damn word he said
I planned to relapse the second I walked out of that bitch
Two weeks in Brighton, I ain't enlightened
Biting into a fuckin' Vicodin like I'm a Viking
Oh, lightning is striking, it might be a fuckin' sign, I need a psychic
Evaluation, Fuck Jason, it's Friday the 19th!
That means it's just a regular day
And this is the kind of shit I think of regularly
Fucking lesbian shouldn't have had her legs in the way
Now she's pregnant and gay, missin' both legs and begging to stay
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
Tell the critics I'm back and comin' to spit it back in abundance
Hit a fag with onions, then split a bag of Funyuns
Mad at me? Understandable, cannibal, shoot an animal
Out of a cannon and have 'em catapult at an adult
Captain of a cult, with an elite following
To turn Halloween back into a trick-or-treat holiday
Have Michael Myers lookin' like a liar, swipe his power
Replace his knife with flowers and a stack of fliers
Hit Jason Vorhees with a 40
Stuck a suppository up his ass and made him tell me a story
Gave Hannibal Lector a fuckin' nectarine and sat him
In the fuckin' fruit and vegetable section and gave him a lecture
Walked up Elm street with a fucking Wiffle bat drew
Fought Freddy Krueger and Edward Scissorhands, too
Came out with a little scratch, ooh
Lookin' like I got in a fuckin' pillow fight with a triple-fat goose
Insanity, can it be vanity? Where is the humanity
In having a twisted fantasy with an arm-and-leg amputee?
Straitjacket with a hundred eight brackets
With a strap that wraps twice around my back then they latch it
Cut your fucking head off and ask you where you're headed off to
Get it? Headed off to? Medic, this headache's awful
This anesthetic's pathetic, so's this diabetic waffle
And this prosthetic arm keeps crushing my hard taco
[Hook]
[Outro]
- So, it wasn't a choice, it was I had to do this
And now I'm 90 days clean and uh, that's all I have to share
Thanks
- Thanks for sharing Brian, is there anyone else who would like to share this evening?
- Yeah I got something I want to share:
When you walked through the door you were queer to me
So come here baby boy, just come here to me
You're a cock boy, everybody wants you
You're gayer than you would ever claim to
I won't have to rape you
So homie lay down down down, lay down down down
Lay down down down, lay down lay down
Where's everybody going? This always went over real big in gay a
Ok wait, I got another one
I just love condoms and lots of cum, no? Oh, shit
