FOTP - My Life [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

Forgive but I can't forget
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But won't let em get the best of me
How can I be lost when I've got nowhere to go
Searched for seas of gold
Why is this world so cold
How can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive


Let's get it started
Let's start addressing this issue and open it up
Let's take this shit back to my childhood
A kid at age five where alone I stood
We can discuss statements I've made
Why I cut myself with a blade
Let's rewind it to '92 when I was a boy
Growing up in htown
It was white town
I wanted to drown
I'd like to share a story
This is my story, and can't nobody tell it for me
You have well-informed me
I am well aware that I don't belong here
You made that perfectly clear
When you ignored me
Pushed and abused me
For being brown
I got beat down
Got my ass kicked
Pain they would inflict
Got my money stolen
So i started ballin
A manic state was my escape
My mind would race at a dramatic pace
I was hurt, you couldn't see it on my face
Sometimes I feel so alone
I just don't know
Feels like I've been down the road before
So lonely and cold it's like something takes over
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like deja vu
I wanna get away from this place I do
But I can't and I won't
Say I try, but I know it's a lie
Ask me why and I just don't know


[Hook]
Lord, please forgive me for the sinning
Sinning please forgive me for the snitching to the Lord
Forgive but I can't forget
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But won't let em get the best of me
Like a kid I wished I could fly away
But instead, I keep my tears inside
Because I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life without you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects
Waking up scared some nights still dreaming about them violent times
Still a little protective about the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinking about me trying to end my life
Still a little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
How can I be lost when I've got nowhere to go
Searched for seas of gold
Why is this world so cold
How can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive


It just doesn't get any darker than convincing a boy with a bright mind, his entire life's a crime
Those bastards never let me forget I was a brown kid
That heavily needed his ass kicked
Said I had never been shit
Was never gonna be shit
That's why I take shit, whenever i'm given shit
Fitted with a mind, that'll have you coming for mine
That's why I'm sharp, and doing what I gotta do
Spitting gold, while takin over the whole world
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do
Right here in front of you
I'm like a thief holding a gun to your head
Got you shitting on yourself cuz ur already dead
At your funeral you won't need a casket
I'm leaving just enough of you to fit inside a basket
It ain't nothing for my bullets to unbotton your clothes
Fuck how many bullies, pushers and pimps up in it
Go ahead, keep runnin nothing but your mouth
While I keep runnin the world month by month
I'm gonna come through and shine in due time
Without doing any crime


[Hook]
Lord, please forgive me for the sinning
Sinning please forgive me for the snitching to the Lord
Forgive but I can't forget
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But won't let em get the best of me
Like a kid I wished I could fly away
But instead, I keep my tears inside
Because I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life without you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects
Waking up scared some nights still dreaming about them violent times
Still a little protective about the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinking about me trying to end my life
Still a little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
How can I be lost when I've got nowhere to go
Searched for seas of gold
Why is this world so cold
How can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive


One of the first days in 9th grade
When the planes crashed
The twin towers collapsed
There was backlash followed by culture clash
Terrorist was my new name, got me thinking is this a game?
There was nothing equal for my people in your math
You forced us into war and then you took our dads
Then you wonder why their kids are radicalized, just open up your eyes
That's why I can't pledge allegiance to your flag
Cause I can't find no reconciliation with your past
I won't shed blood on any battlefield of yours
I pray the ugly truth comes and shatters your decor
And as it all falls down in tatters on the floor
I shed tears, I don't know what really matters anymore
Cause I don't know what really matters any more
I said I don't know what really matters any more
So I'ma be the king once the king's done
And if he don't wanna leave I might have to guillotine him
I sing some, but I rap a lot like the king's son
What the heck are ya doin you can't king him
I'm creating a kingdom and he's dumb
You think you're hard you should hear my mind sing
I'ma keep it steady like a park swing
Go ahead and call me a rap king
I treat every single day like my last one
My outlook on life is like I dont have one
Bricks on my shoulders now
Burning all my motives down
They strip away the justice
To justify their oppression
I can see the LASERS shooting outta you and me


[Hook]
Lord, please forgive me for the sinning
Sinning please forgive me for the snitching to the Lord
Forgive but I can't forget
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But won't let em get the best of me
Like a kid I wished I could fly away
But instead, I keep my tears inside
Because I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life without you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects
Waking up scared some nights still dreaming about them violent times
Still a little protective about the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinking about me trying to end my life
Still a little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
How can I be lost when I've got nowhere to go
Searched for seas of gold
Why is this world so cold
How can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive


I see corrupted leaders
They're nothing but dealers
They sold their soul to the devil
Then took it to the next level
I look at myself like a fallen angel
Living life like a stranger
Every day is my birthday
Thinking I was born yesterday
I'm clearly something special
You can't mess with me
I keep it one hundred
Even if you hate me
You gotta respect that
The world brought me to my knees
All she had to do was say please
Now I'm in the perfect position to pray
Because I'm richer than Barclays
I wanted to grow
I wanted to stay
I wanted to go
I wanted to play
I want everything back that I paid
Because I've been waiting since birth to meet my lord
I know I'm the shit cuz I totally bounce back and recover from a pitfall
I run this world, To do it big I gotta keep ya out my business
Cuz you like to gossip more than the bitches I know
Feeling heavy as heaven, the devil on me two tonnes too
As long as they look good, while they be doing bad
The separation from the truth is getting vast, fast
Be a slave at first, or free at last
The lesser of two evils make a brotha wanna pass
Baptise your mind, let you brain take a bath
Swim inside the river and learn to do the math
I smile till they surrender then I'm killin em off with forgiveness
I'm here today, maybe gone tomorrow
But you'd have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's minds
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes
Even though they went on a shooting spree
It's always been me versus me

[Hook]
Lord, please forgive me for the sinning
Sinning please forgive me for the snitching to the Lord
Forgive but I can't forget
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But won't let em get the best of me
Like a kid I wished I could fly away
But instead, I keep my tears inside
Because I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life without you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects
Waking up scared some nights still dreaming about them violent times
Still a little protective about the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinking about me trying to end my life
Still a little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
How can I be lost when I've got nowhere to go
Searched for seas of gold
Why is this world so cold
How can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive

It's always been me versus me
It's always been me versus me
It's always been me versus me