[Skit]
Host: People, people, can I have some quiet. Thank you very much. Now we know why we're all here, we're all very special people. What we're going to do is have a little group session, we're all gonna take turns and we're gonna talk, okay, we're gonna talk. Now, would anyone like to talk first? How about you Matt? Why don't you talk, have a go
Suffa: Okay I'll try
Host: Yeah, have a go
[Verse 1: Suffa]
Hi my name's Matt, and I'm eight-foot-tall
I fight like Mike Tyson, I can break through walls
I got a science degree and a PhD
If you see a sucka what you see ain't me
I got the finest...
[Skit]
Host: Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop
Suffa: What's the problem?
Host: What do you think?
Suffa: Why'd you stop me?
Host: Cause you're being delusional, now try again
Suffa: Do it again?
Host: Yes, try it again
[Verse 2: Suffa]
Hi my name's Matt, and what I said wasn't true
I'm not eight-foot-tall, I'm really six-foot-two
So I don't have to bend for doorways when I enter
Not a title fight contender but I do have a temper
I'm not really centered, kind of off to the right
I Dream of Jeannie and jerk off in the night
Don't get me in the light, that's just my [?]
I got a face you wanna mace man, I make mirrors crack
I'm more hustle than bustle, it's enough to make you sad
I couldn't find my way out of a wet paper bag
If you made me mad, or even if you stare at me
I start filming and shouting saying "you sent me into therapy"
I drink muscle growth powder and then chowed'd down a sache
Sit at home alone making friends with paper mache
Cause when it came to mates I never really made the quota
Even though I tried to suck 'em in with cookies and soda
My biggest hero's Yoda, yo, I'm kind of a geek
I watched Return of the Jedi seven times just last week
I can't speak without impediment, went off my medication
Sometimes I talk to chairs and have 'em hold a conversation
I sleep with a nightlight cause I'm scared of the dark
I walk with a limp just to get a handicap park
With my hand on my heart, I swear that I'm a liar
Hi my name's Matt, I like to set things on fire
[Skit]
Host: Well wasn't that wonderful group. Thank you very much Matt for sharing. Now just put down the lighter. Okay, is there anyone else that would like to talk? How about you Dan? Come on Dan get up, don't be shy. That's right
[Verse 3: Pressure]
I'm a supersonic bionic, MC Pressure, who want it?
I'll radiate plutonic's and destroy cities [?]
I'm six for seventeen, I don't diss the [?] here
Crack a fat and cast shadows over the southern hemisphere
Never fear...
[Skit]
Host: Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop. Aren't we a little excitable. Well then, why don't we try it again but a little more honest
[Verse 4: Pressure]
Alright, my name's Dan (Hi Dan), I used to
Think I was the man till the toga hit my hand at [?]
See I'm the type at the end of the night caught sipping dregs
At Phys Ed they used to diss me, man they called me chicken legs
I'm kind of dull from hitting heads from American Football
Sorry I lied about my height, I'm not even six-foot-tall
I got this habit of exaggeratin', twisting words and encapsulatin'
And I, yeah... occasionally masturbatin'
[?] very best, I'm just a scary pest
I shave to hide my peach fuzz, "why they all have a hairy chest?"
I rarely rest, I'm an insomniac, no one wants me on their track
Cos I stay up late at night creatin' songs that's wack
Thought I was hitting, but all this time seems I was missing
My ex dumped me for this geek that worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken
Damn I was bitchin', having thoughts of givin' my wrists a slittin'
(So you were quietly upset), man you even listen?
I bring out the bad in people, had this friend that was mad and evil
Got to know me, starts tellin' me how he thinks fags are equal
(You're unhappy with who you are?), nah, I cherish a number
I'm twenty-two, I live at home with my parents and brother
(You sound kind of depressed), yeah that's cos I'm a maniac
My best friend's named Suffa, the others just say I'm wack
But I'm okay with that, [?] a true thug
I feel better that's off my chest, god, can I have a group hug?
[Skit]
Host: Well Daniel we can't actually give you a hug. We've been through your file and nobody's actually allowed to touch you. What we'll do is, we'll take out our circles of paper and we'll write ten things we like about ourselves and ten things we like about other people. Thank you
