[Verse 1: James Watts]
I was supposed to be finished with this rapping thing
I looked in the mirror and thought, "it's not happening"
At least as a career, I gave it a couple years
Chased dreams til I wore a hole in the sole of my Airs
Like...it's not fair, but all these bills is due, and while
I'm out playing artist, I'm getting old and it's juvenile
To want to be a rapper, I got a job and a Master's
And people think what they see on BET's what I'm after
Girls in they panties, cars painted in candy
I ain't judging nobody for how they fill up they pantry
But that's not me, or the songs that I been writing, it's
My feeling that these words is really nothing trifle with
Added to that, I love music
In all honesty, so that's the reason why I do this
It's work to make songs that I could play for my students
And everybody I know cause I ain't trying to make excuses
Just something I'd be proud of, never wanted to make a name
If it turn meant that someone I loved, would be ashamed
That's hard to do, as a dude who works
Potential applicant, and all they find in your Google search
Is rap songs and show flicks, clubs that I've been booking for
Regardless of my resume, I'm not the one they're looking for
The thing I love I most, it might kill me
But in the meantime, I write in the hope you'll feel me...
[Hook]
It's been hard for me to say
All these things, I see your face
Every time I close my eyes, I miss you
I still dream when I'm awake
Hoping what we have will stay, I do
Cause I can't forget you...
[Verse 2: James Watts]
I can't lie, being a rapper is fucking weak
It ain't about your song's content as much as tweets
Doing almost anything for hype trying to up your reach
That's hard to reconcile, cause these kids that's looking up to me
Deserve a lot more than, pictures of me recording
With some buds on the console, Meel said "it's important"
I'm inclined to agree to that
So where my real believers at?
Put your hands up in the crowd, so you could lead me back
It's been too long, I made too few songs
They see me at the party they like "what's been going on?..."
....but all they get is a canned response/
"I'm chilling", "I'm cool", I mean that's what they want....right?
Or maybe I'm the jaded one
Either way, that's what it is, and I hate it son
I wanna take it back, to them days we used to make it fun
Was everything to us, despite the nothing that we made it from
And cause of that I fight faithlessness
This is a tapestry, woven from a sacred stitch
It's more to the music than if or not it could make us rich
It made me who I am, so in return, I made it this..
[Hook]
It's been hard for me to say
All these things, I see your face
Every time I close my eyes, I miss you
I still dream when I'm awake
Hoping what we have will stay, I do
Cause I can't forget you...
[Verse 3: James Watts]
I used to have so many plans, but they never panned out
Ambitions, I was driven 'til the tank just ran out
I was so very gassed my first songs I handed out
At the clubs, did shows, won battles, made dough
Sat in offices with bosses, like, when you going to sign me?
The time was never right, I told em "you know where to find me"
I was grinding online, made my videos with Rik
Made some classics with my boy Frank, was never given shit
I ain't never had a team, but then Zen would burn my discs
Claudi got me on a couple sites, Meel would take my pics
Eric acted like a manager, but they all had lives
And I ain't had the stamina to deal with all the lies
That the game came with, got tired of glad-handing
Trying to flip on the industry, had me a bad landing
So I ran away from it to only be back standing
In the very same place, still passionate to make
You feel like I use to feel from them classics on them tapes
Trying to do what I love to fight everything I hate
And Lord willing, I'mma win this time
Even I have to drag myself cross the finish line....
[Hook]
It's been hard for me to say
All these things, I see your face
Every time I close my eyes, I miss you
I still dream when I'm awake
Hoping what we have will stay, I do
Cause I can't forget you...
