Jon Lajoie - WTF Collective 2 [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[Verse 1: MC Confusing]

MC Confusing
Back in this bitch
With a parking sandwich
And a chicken ticket

I got a liquid face lift
From a fig with big tits
And my wrist got twisted
By a brit with fig spit

And you don't understand it
Cause you're not supposed to
Like a candy cane snake
In a jealous cartoon

And I'm gonna leave soon
But first I need to
Drink a Chevy Chase face
And rape Robo-Cop 2

[Verse 2: MC Historical Inaccuracy]

Yo I'm MC Historical
In-acc-ur-a-cy
I drop lyrical bombs
Like Hiroshima in '73

I write rhymes like Shakespeare
When he wrote Anne Frank's diary
Which is about the civil war
Of 1812 in Germany

I'm like the Spanish Inquisition
When they killed Jesus
And Abe Lincoln's suicide
Was the theme for my thesis

Like Moses, when I focus
I can split the Red Sea
Like he did in 1950
With the Chinese Army

[Verse 3: MC Don't Know How to Pluralize Word(s)]

I'm MC Don't-Know-How-
To-Pluralize-Word
I got so many rhyme
And I sleep with all the girl

When there's more than one of something
You're supposed to pluralize
But I never learned that
Throughout all the year I've been alive

[Verse 4: MC Canadian Stereotype]

Hello, I'm MC Canadian
Ster-eo-type
I'm aboot to get started
So let me get off the ice

But I don't want any trouble
And I am always polite
Now let's hop on my snow mobile
And I will tell you what I like

But first I'll turn off curling
And turn down Avril Lavigne
Et j'vais dire une phrase francais
Parce qu'ici on est bilingue

Oh boy I fell off my igloo
And I hurt my knee
Let's go to the hospital!
Don't worry, here in Canada it's free (eh?)

[Verse 5: MC Fatigue]

MC Fatigue
Did ya miss me?
I'll be awake for five minutes
Cause I had a coffee

I'll try and get through my verse
But I really don't know
I drank that coffee about
Five minutes ago
(zzzzzzzzz)

[Hook: MC Chorus Guy]

They hired me again to sing
This mother fucking chorus

I haven't found a fucking job yet
So I got to do this bullshit
(I can't take it, I'm done)

I don't think that I can sing
Another fucking chorus

I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge
Or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did
(I think my dad has a gun)

[Verse 6: MC Knows-Too-Much-About-Bees]

I'm MC
Knows-Too-Many-Fact-About-Bees
Fifteen miles an hour
Is their average speed

A queen can lay
Up to 3,000 eggs in a day
Just because I know a lot about bees
Doesn't mean that I'm gay

I'm also MC
In-the-Closet-Homosexual
I hide it cause it's easier to be
Heterosexual

We can't even get married
In most states in America
It's fucked up
(MC Canadian Stereotype)
Gay Marriage is legal here in Canada!

[Verse 7: MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole]

I'm MC Homophobic-
Fucking-Asshole
Being gay is evil
And unnatural

Jesus said to love thy neighbor
But only if they are straight
Penises go in vaginas
Anything else is just insane

[Verse 8: MC Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes]

I'm MC Extremely-
Inappropriate-Rhymes
I shake things up like J. Fox
When I get on the mic

And I drop my enemies like
Christopher Reeve's horse
And I put them to sleep
Like Heath Ledger of course

[Verse 9: MC Extremely Politically Correct]
(Woah!)

I'm MC Extremely-
Politically-Correct
I disagree with the previous MC's
Lyrical content

It's offensive, insensitive
And in very bad taste
Just like that guy who wrote that song
When Michael Jackson passed away

[Verse 10: MC Final Verse]

Yo I'm MC Final Verse
Here to end the song
One was enough
We didn't need a sequel, Jon

Make a fourth "Show Me Your Genitals"
Or another "Normal Guy"
But for now let's end this stupid song
With a suicide

[Hook: MC Chorus Guy]

This is the last time that I
Will ever sing a chorus
My dad's gun was in his closet
And I'm gonna end this bullshit
(I had a good run)

I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I
Am finished with this chorus
Sayonara and farewell
I guess I'll see you all in hell
(Four, three, two, one)

(MC Final Verse)
Oh my God, Chorus Guy killed himself
(MC Historical Inaccuracy)
Just like John Lennon and JFK
(MC Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes)
And OJ Simpson's wife
(MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees)
Only one bullet? It takes 1,000 bee stings to kill a man
(MC Don't Know How to Pluralize Word(s))
That is a lot of bee!
(MC Confusing)
There's more blood than a rubber house bottle of foot!
(MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole)
Shut up queer-fag
(MC Canadian Stereotype)
We don't tolerate that kind of hateful language in Canada!
(MC Fatigue)
I'm gonna go call an ambu-zzzzz
(MC Final Verse)
Who's gonna sing the chorus from now on?

-Hey-

(MC Vagina)
You can't spell chorus without...
Vagina