J-Zone - The Smurf Syndrome [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

"Ohh.. you got to give me some now!"

[J-Zone]
I'm backed up like the D, six in the evening
Crashed in the center lane before a Yankee game
I like the Belt Parkway for Coney Island festivals
Remain with a pain in the testicals
The fifth girl this month said she wanna be platonic friends
Game is void, even when she drunk off the tonic gin
Wastin fifty cents in the phone, it took two calls
After conversation, blue balls
Lookin for a way to release this nut
So for bein backed up I wrote a thesis, slut named Dawn
Got her period, damn so does Valerie
Some cats pay for it, "Aiyyo I'm smokin DUST 'fore I do that"
Money go to music so I'm steady stayin blue black
Painful platonic friendships, where the woman at?
I gotta ease the tension off, so now I'm thumbin through
My brown phonebook - aiyyo here goes June, look
Nah high maintenance, shit I can't take this
I need a dominatrix, so I rent "Payback"
With Lucy Liu; whoo!
"On your knees bitch.. I want to set a section."
Get a pain and get her hair done (hell no!)
But now I'm back to square one (that's true)
So get the lotion - put the palms in motion
Woo, damn! All over the curtains

"Oh that was great! You know I'm all tired out though."
-] Ernie from Sesame Street

"Looks like a nice day for being naughty!"
"Maybe, you and I could have a little.. fun?"
"Yes, of course!"
"Lie on your back"
"So you finally ready for the big dick eh?"
"Erect?"
"Yes!"
"Here we go!"
"Aww, sure thing, open your mouth!"
"hummmm..."

[J-Zone]
The other day I felt lonely, horny, freaky
Time to bone so I picked up the phone to call Nikki
She widdit, I gotta go get this
She want jewels? She got 'em comin in her wet pearl necklace
(Hahaha) So I hit the shower, bathed in cologne
Said she'd call at eight, so I stayed by the phone
Damn; 8:10 the phone rang
Aww shit, I'm about to go bang her
Who's the six month cherry, said the moving guy on the way there
Ready to Amtrak this chick can have a different train fare
Got to the crib, she on the couch half naked (Oh my God!)
Talkin bout how much it cost to press a record (the fuck?)
I ignore her, rub her feet and relax
Then she asked, could I make her a beat cause she raps?
Man fuck hip-hop! Nuts blue with a Smurfette
Leavin me swoll up, backed up, now hold up
I'm outta here! "I thought you were my friend" Shit, bye bitch
Hope you get a deal with Wild Pitch, and get jerked
Jerk, that sounds great, I got my hand - you're frontin
Chased the elevator, hit the first floor button
Another Lucy Liu night, horny on the way down
Ready to bust nut and release it like a trey pound
I got so hot though the Zone never made it
Froze the elevator, missed the floor and mastur..
(Aowwwww shit!)

"Exercise number ten should be done by two people simultaneously
You can do it alone too with your hands; but it's not as much fun."