N. Talekt - In My Loving Memory [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[listen]
Http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11217214

[verse 1]
Never made it to the clouds, they sent me to hell
Looking back, i kind of wish they'd put me in jail
Maybe if I sat in a cell, I'd think twice
Let my words speak louder, cause my actions, they yelled
The crimes i committed, i did to myself
Bars around my thoughts, i built them myself
Welcome to my nightmare, palace of pain
Moat around the castle but it's not what you think
Ain't to keep nobody out, that's to lock me in
To my chagrin, boxed in with thoughts of sin
Now lots of men would probably give in, i never did
I could thank my momma for that, but i never will
Cuz she was never there, a spot never filled
Nevertheless, i cared, but now i never feel
Heart turned cold, built of steel
So i'd turncoat anybody just to get a pill
Hope to get accepted, looking for appeal
Cost of livin way to high to fit the bill
Nobody understands how i feel
When i compare life to an overtime game in the nfl
When you start and finish, score still the same
Whole things decided by at coin flip at center field
Try to open their eyes so we can see the same
Bribed 'em wit a centerfold, they don't wanna change the page
... they just see a beautiful picture
I'm stuck in this spot, ain't a suitable fixture!
My friends turned foes, i refuse to forgive 'em
So i block out the pain, i don't choose to remember
The thoughts in my brain all allude to the winter
Darkness and rain, that's included with shivers
Life seems like a game, losers and winners
But you're born then you die so it feels like a tie
Still regret's in my eyes, since i realize
Everybody got a position, i ain't fulfill mine
My team paid the cost cause i crossed the line
Those charges, so heartless, my response is
Dope sparkin', ride high, no harness
My life, broke artist, jj, good times
Good bye, see you on the other side of karma
Hope to be reincarnated with some honor
Offer farewells, see u never agains
And advice on this page of my pad with a pen
Take a good look around ya circle of friends
I guarantee you're probably in the same position they're in
Look into the mirror, examine how you're livin
If you see your goals slippin, high target, keep missin'
Your choice, your decision, the fast life don't slow
But you'll grow old and you can't go the distance
See any stresses you dealt with, i felt it
And kept it in captive until it turned septic
But dammit, that's life, don't forget to count blessings
And don't take offense, take the lesson

[Peacefully sleeping, resting at last
His weary trials and troubles past
In silence he suffered, in patience he bore
Til' God called him home, to suffer no more]

Look in my eyes, say hi to my enemy
Life on the edge, disguising my misery
Took me to die to realize what it did to me, i
Give you my life, in my loving memory