[Verse 1]
Been a menace, Dennis, I'll kick his door
Innocence been evict, picture my vision, since four
My uncle told me no innocent vixens, these bitches is hoes
While he cheated on my aunt, twisted my wrist from the go
So all my life, I've been twisted and cold
My vision was different because of this shit I've been told
So when me and women had difference, given gimmicks I'm sold
I'd get up and go, or list 'em as a bitch or a hoe
If you listen and get it, this image spit was your own
Then use my lyrics as a pivot, to shift from the old
I stick through the cold, eventually the drama come
If every woman's a hoe, won't that make my momma one?
Though, I've turned to realize, every cut in my belt
Every failed relationship, was no one's fault but myself
I can't trust you if I don't trust in myself
And I can't love you if I don't love in myself
[Hook x2]
But I'm growing up, I'm growing up
I'm growing up, though I've been grown in my age
I've finally reached the point where I'm changing my ways
[Verse 2]
I'm growing up, though, I'm not there, but I try
My worst perfections tend to overcome my best flaws
You can't spell 'believe' without the word 'lie'
And you might know where you are, but it doesn't make you less lost
My mother and father been telling me I should be seeing a shrink, I'm sick, dude
Again in the end, I never confess, they don't know what I been through
I lost 10 of my homies, since I was a kid inside of my midschool
Most of them overdoses, started from cigarettes inside of the gym, dude
Got survivors guilt, pop a pill tryna off the pain
A lot of homies got track marks, I never caught the train
Scoffing coffee beans, dog, when I sleep, I'm lost in an dream
Where all my peeps, gone and deceased, breathe, its all but a dream so I'm just lost awake
Often thought of pulling a tec out
Sit on my bed, put to my head, bloaw and now I bled out
Not how I pictured dying, my niece'll grow with no uncle
My mom and sister crying, all cause I wanted to find a way to get out
Damn, come walk a foot in my sneakers, player
Pain in my brain won't go away 'til I'm annebriated
I've tried religion, prescriptions, homie, don't nothing work
Homies are phonies, I'm really lonely, it fucking hurts
If grandma was here, she'd tell me no fear, just blessings now
She died inside of the projects but found a way to stretch a smile
Looking into this photo book, I still hear her lessons loud
Suicide won't bring you to heaven, thats why I'm scared to test it out
I think I just really miss my friends, homie
And I can't wait 'til the day I get to see 'em again, homie
Thats why I want to fast forward to my end
But I realize in their name, I have to win, homie, for real
Right by my brain is where I held the gat
Realize suicide's a selfish act
Cause my dead family don't have the agility to breathe
Every day is a blessing, I have ability to see
Which mean I'm growing up
[Hook x2]
