R (Letter) - CONtact [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[Random]
I been performin for years; stealin shows like a smooth crook
'Til one day my mans like dude, look
What if fans come and see you at a con
And they never been? So I wrote me a rule book
Cause some things at concerts are totally fine
But they just don't apply at a con, so
I'ma give you ten tips to maximize fun
But you can't pick and choose, gotta follow each one

Rule one! That's the most important of all the rules
Before you go, wear comfortable shoes
Cause you'll be walkin all day and if your dogs bark
You'll miss out on a lot, so it pays to be smart
Number two! And speakin of payin - bring cash
Cause the ATM fees gon' make you mad
And standin in them lines is a hassle
Vendeos love green so it makes it much easier to haggle
Number three! And make sure you schedule your moves
Cause more's gon' be goin on than you'll have time to do
And some events are ticketed so if you wanna go
Grab one, come back, cause if ya slow ya blow!
Rule four, somethin that might sound strange
But please, do not, forget, to bathe~!
With thousands of folks cooped up in one spot
You bound to be in line with the guy that forgot!
Number five! Talk to everybody cause you just never know
Who's who what's what and what they know
And read the name badges and ask good questions
Cause you could be standin next to a legend
Number six! Don't go overboard spendin dough
It's a really bad feelin when it's time for you to go
And you realize you need gas and somethin to eat
But shoot - that one almost happened to me
Anyway! Number seven, pack yourself a con kit
Aspirin, hand sanitizer, and breath mints
Cause while you're bein friendly, keep in mind
Most guys don't wash they hands when they go to the john
And speaking of meetings, there's rule number eight
Comic Cons are NOT the best place to find dates
Better see ID before you start romancin
Or before you know it you chillin with Chris Hansen
Number nine! Better keep the camera charged
You gon' see some things that you wanna share wit'cha squad
From elaborate costumes to childhood idols
Bringin home pictures is absolutely vital
Number ten! Somethin you should do while you there
Is if you're enjoyin it, register for next year!
There's plenty more but I won't bother you with every one
And besides that'll ruin all the fun
If you never experienced, you gotta do it once
And all the hard rocks out, they'd probably front
But it's unreal; folks think I'm kiddin
Then they walk on that Con floor and turn into a kid again
So don't become a slave to yourignorance
Don't be afraid to try somethin different
I went in oh-seven and I haven't missed it since
The lines get longer, the stench more intense
But I can't imagine sittin up in the house
Missin out, wonderin what the fuss is about
And don't forget to holla at Ran if you should see me
I'll be at the Capcom booth, signin CD's
Peace!