Social Anxiety - The Inferno [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

I kept talking about monsters under my bed
But I forgot to account for the monsters in my head
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy

I’m just not so good at this thing called life
If I could I’d take the first exit off this ride
I’m tired of pretending that I am always fine
The truth is I’m just a wreck who knows how to rhyme

My mom looks at me now different than before
She sees how this life has rotten me to the core
I’ve hidden the truth about me scribbled on papers
Cuz the truth is really just a clearer picture

Maybe I’m a liar, but is it still a lie when it turns true?
All of my greatest fears live inside of me as proof
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy

I’d do anything to believe that I’m good
But all the signs keep pointing to my demise
My parents pray that one day I’ll believe in god
But if their god exists, he must be flawed

And it’s just like me to bite the hand that feeds
But I never meant to hurt anyone with these brittle teeth
I’ve made it this far in life and that’s a feat
But every now and then I’ve fallen at the devil’s feet

I keep crying “wolf,” but this is all on me
I’ve disgraced anyone who has ever loved me
I’ve taken advantage of those who just wanted me to succeed
I’ve set fire to everything I’d been given for free

But I’ll never be the person you want me to be
And I don’t think I will ever be free of this disease
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy

I get more desperate as time passes by
How did I resign myself to such a mediocre life?
There’s a special place in hell for people like me
The kind of guy that stabs someone just to watch them bleed

But you’ll never find someone just like me
A person so perfectly entrenched in duality
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy

Maybe I’m only meant to be someone’s second choice
I just wanted my music to serve as a voice
If there’s greatness in me I haven’t found it yet
It must be hiding beneath the pains in my chest

I see you all there watching me from the sidelines
Hoping that I trip and fall just one more time
Just so you can point fingers at and say you’re right
Yeah, you’re right, I’m despicable and trite

I won’t give you the satisfaction of my reaction
Consider this song my call to action
I’ve heard that the meek will inherit the earth
As soon as the bold finish poisoning the dirt

This is what I get for wearing my heart on my sleeve
A ripped shirt and a notebook full of reprieves
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy

Where do my decisions leave me in this life?
Somewhere in between apathy and suicide
People keep telling me to just “sit back, enjoy the ride”
But I can’t let myself become victim to this device

I’ve been told that this world belongs to the blind
That’s enough to convince me to gouge out my eyes
If you told me it belonged to the deaf
I would’ve ripped my ears right out of my head

I’m just a big bad wolf living in a world of sheep
And every time I set to attack my bones creak
All I’ve ever wanted was to be happy
But happiness was never meant for someone like me

It’s this loneliness that I have grown to despise
And I’ve adjusted my life to circumvent these lies
But I’ve burnt every bridge when a pattern would arise
To prevent the fallout from affecting your life

But now I’m hurting more than ever before
The devil and god in my head keep raging this war
And every day is a new fights to settle the score
It’s a struggle that constantly leaves me wanting more

But I’d never think to blame you where I fell short
This is where my conscience tends to contort
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy