[INTRO]
[Narrator]: MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
[Narrator]: Round 1! FIGHT!
[Player 1]: Fists and feet and head and bones, Always crackin' your skull round with pain in your dome
In a fight to the death, can never get enough, drop down to the ground and uppercut you in your nuts!
[Liu Kang]: OW!
[Player 1]: Bust you in the face, with a foot to your ear, stab a spike in your chest and yell, GET OVER HERE!
Turnin' up the heat, extinguish your lights, say good night, motherfucker, cause it's ROUND ONE, FIGHT!
Cop on your ass, like a drugged-up weirdo, makin' you freeze, with my man Sub-Zero! It's huntin' time, and I'm bringin' the pain, Goin'
[Liu Kang]: WOOPA WOOPA
[Player 1]: To your ribs with Liu Kang! Move too fast, cause you can't hit me, you're Justin Bieber!
[Announcer]: GAYTALITY!!!
Beat you from the ground, to the top of your chin, Now here comes the end
[Announcer]: FINISH HIM!
[Player 1]: MK Maniac, since the old school, It's Mortal Kombat, I be killin' fools
[Announcer]: FATALITY!
[Player 1]: This game is so sick, step into the ring and you'll leave paraplegic! Loosen your arms, and I be bleedin' you out, Sheeva stop screamin', here's a breathmint for your mouth! Electric bolts, Raiden, he be lightin' you up, Kitana and her mama, are big old sluts! I ain't afraid!
[Audience]: HUUUUUH???
[Player 1]: To beat a woman up, knock Jade the fuck out, then I'll stare at her butt! Honestly it's kinda hard to kill her family, lookin' at those boobies is like a
[Announcer]: TITALITY!!!
[Player 1]: Victory is mine!
[Player 2]: Nuh-uh, it's just a flesh wound!
[Player 1]: YOUR ARMS ARE OFF!
[Player 2]: NO THEY AREN'T!
[Player 1]: YOU STILL CAN MOVE?!?!?
[Player 1]: Kick your ass to the room, with Jax on the attack! I'll cut you up in little pieces, rip you in half! It's a bloodbath, and I'm takin' a dip, like Old Man Winter, I'll be breakin' your hip! Don't trip
[Narrator]: MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
[Player 1]: I'm always playin', hey what's the cheat code to get Kitana naked? MK Maniac, since the old school, it's Mortal Kombat, I be killin' fools
[Announcer]: FATALITY!!!
[Player 1]: This game is so sick, step into the ring and you'll leave paraplegic!
[MUSIC BREAK]
[Player 1]: At the character screen, it's time to make my selection, pick Sonya Blade cause she gives me an erection, wrappin' your guts, you'll be feelin' my rage, Baraka usin' blades choppin' up on Johnny Cage! And Cyrax is always launchin' missiles like a maniac, Kabal is ugly like the bottom of my nut sack! Uh oh!
[Audience Member]: What?
[Player 1]: Here comes Shao Kahn, I'll be taggin' his face, then I'll be taggin' his mom! Hold on, let me finish this fight, I'm seein' red slap my Mileena with my wiener on the top of her head! He's mean, he's green, and I use him a bunch, snackin' on your head, reptilian lunch! You're standin there spinnin' around like a retard
[Announcer]: FINISH HIM!!!
[Player 1]: I'm tryin', this fatality is real hard! Explode your brains, with my girl Sindel, take the mask off my face, and send your ass to Hell! MK Maniac, since the old school, it's Mortal Kombat, I be killin' fools
[Announcer]: FATALITY!!!
[Player 1]: This game is so sick, step into the ring and you'll leave paraplegic! MK Maniac, since the old school, it's Mortal Kombat, I be killin' fools
[Announcer]: FATALITY!!!
[Player 1]: This game is so sick, step into the ring and you'll leave paraplegic!
[OUTRO]
