Bo Burnham
Ying Yang friends
T.J. Miller
Ying yang friends
Bo
T.J.!
T.J
Bo Burnham. Love this dude. Friends forever, right man?
Bo
Yeah, bro
T.J
Ebony and Ivory. 'Cept we both Ivory, motherfuckers!
Bo
Yeah, man. Hear that beat? That's heavy, man. That's heavy
T.J
We gotta respect one another. I respect his work, y'all
Bo
I respect his family
T.J
Yeah, I'll respect your families, y'all
Bo
It's the illest, still silliest Dr. Seuss
I fuck witches, bitches, make Goody Proctor loose
Yea, I went to the zoo and I fisted a goose
And while my hand was inside it, I threw up the deuce
Bruce. Die hard. "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
I'm the fresh young kid, you the saggy old Phyllis
Diller kid; I'm the DJ killer
Now I'm passing the mic off to TJ Miller, what!
T.J
It's the silliest, illiest illiest Dr. Seuss
I fuck witches make Doctors Proctors loose
I went to the zoo man, and fisted a goose
When my hand was inside her, I threw up two fingers
Die hard!
Bo
Yo, TJ, those are my rhymes, dude
And stealin' my rhymes, dude, is borderline rude
T.J
What are you talking about, man? What's the deal
I mean, did the Beasty Boys do--
Bo
No, the Beasty Boys emphasize words at the end--
T.J
Saying the same words. Alright, I'll do something different
Okay
Yo, TJ, that's my rhymes, dude. And stealin' my rhythms is borderline rude
Bo
You're joking, right? That's the same-
T.J
No, I'm singing. That's the chorus, I'm doing the chorus now
Bo
That's now how..., okay, I'll give you a word
Just, rhyme...just rhyme a word... look
The best duo around, ain't no one bigga
T.J
I wanna give a shout-out to all my niggas!
Bo
No, dude, we can't fucking say that, are you serious?
T.J
What? You said it yesterday in the car!
Bo
I was, okay. I was singing along to the song that I enjoy
T.J
Whatever, man. You said it in the car
When you say it in the car, you say it outdoors!
Bo
Are you, like, in one of your moods today or whatever?
T.J
Yeah, mood. Y'know
I get it. I'm always in a mood. I'm always-
Bo
Well, it seems like- alright, just please rap. Can you just start rapping?
T.J
Oh yeah, no sure. I'll rap. I love rapping
Bo
Okay, go
T.J
I got so much sadness, so much shame
Cause when we go on stage, they always scream your name
Bo
No. Look. No, man. No one's leavin' you out
It's just, "Bo, Bo!" is easy to shout
T.J
When we share hotel rooms, I feel like a creep
Cause I like masturbating while watching you sleep
Bo
Yo, that's f***ed up, dude
Man, you said, "Bo, trust me"
Now I know why all my pillows are crusty
I'm really, really worried and a bit annoyed
It seems you're sending signals like some fucked up Sigmund Freud shit
T.J
I'll never be like you. You'll always be better
Bo
Yo, just wake me up next time. We'll jack off together!
T.J
What? No, that's not what I wanna do!
Bo
We can rent a movie or something
T.J
Come on, don't be weird, man
It's just difficult because obviously, you're the better rapper
Bo
No, it's not-
T.J
Yeh, in this situation..
Bo
Better is a stupid word. We balance each other out
T.J
I'm not some special needs kid, okay
Bo
No- well, alright
T.J
Yeah, there's always one person's better
Bo
Can we just-
T.J
You're Justin Timberlake, I'm the rest of N'Sync
Bo
Ying Yang Friends! 1, 2, punch. Hungry still? Here's some lunch
We're Dodo. Ring like Fodo. Quasimodo got a hunch
Mess with us, we'll fuck your daughter, take her out, break her water
Now TJ, please, make the track even hotter
T.J
I can't cause you're the better man
Everybody likes you; and the plan
Is always your decision, you're the best
Look at TJ, make fun of his sweatervest
When girls wanna sleep with you, they talk to me
Then you tell them, "Hey, walk over here with me"
Then you make out with them when clearly
I was talking to her all night at the bar;
Clearly a very attractive red head who is into photography
Bo
It seems like you have issues that you need to work out
Before you step out into the recording studio
T.J
Well, then, why don't I work them out on my own. I get it, okay.. It's over
Bo
We done here?
T.J
Yeah, we're done;
Don't let the door hit you on the time you go out of the.. exit
Yo, yo, yo..
YING YANG FRIENDS
T.J
Lets do this again!
Bo
Yeah!
T.J
Friends forever! 'Til the end, motherfuckers
Bo
See you tomorrow?
T.J
Peace
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