Tekst piosenki
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites:
„I know you’re really depressed, what with all your… AIDS
And everything… but there is an answer in Christ.”
[NABULUNGI:]
You see? This book CAN help us!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
I just told a lie
No, I didn’t LIE
I just used my imagination
And it worked!
[CUNNINGHAMS FATHER][Chorus:]
You’re making things up again, Arnold
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
But it worked, dad!
[CUNNINGHAMS FATHER:]
Youre stretching the truth again
And you know it
[JOSEPH SMITH]
Dont be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Joseph Smith…?
[SMITH AND FATHER:]
Because a lie is a lie
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Its not a lie!
[MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:][Chorus]
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Oh, conscience!
[MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:]
You’re taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold
When you fib, there’s a price
[MIDDALA:]
Ahh, this it bullshit!
The story I’VE been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin!
I’m gonna go and rape a baby!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
What?! Oh my-NO! You can’t do that!!! NO!
[MIDDALA:]
Why not?!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Because that is DEFINITELY against Gods will!
[MIDDALA:]
Says who?!
Where in that book of yours does it say ANYTHING about sleeping with a baby, huh?!
Nowhere
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Uh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith
„You SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!”
LO! Joseph said: „Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?”
And the Lord said „If you lay with an infant, you shall…. Burn in the fiery pits of Mordar!!!”
[MIDDALA:]
Really?
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Uh-uh… Uh-uh! „A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith
I shall give unto you… a FROG! And thus
Joesph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more!
[UGANDANS:]
Ohhhhh!
[MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD][Chorus:]
You’re making things up again, Arnold
You’re recklessly warping
The words of Jesus!
[HOBBITS:]
You can’t just say what you want, Arnold!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Come, on, Hobbits!
[ALL:]
You’re digging yourself a deep hole!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
I’m making things up again…kind of
But this time, its helping
A dozen people!
Its nothing so bad, because this time
I’m not committing a sin
Just by making things up again, right?!
[ALL:]
NO!
[NABULUNGI:]
Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
What? What is it?
[NABULUGI:]
Gotswana is going to cut off his daughters clitoris!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Huh?!
[GOTSWANA:]
This is all very interesting
But WOMEN have to be circumcised if that’s what the General wants!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
No, no, doing that to a lady is definitely against Gods will!
[GOTSWANA:]
How do you know?! Christ never said NOTHIN bout no clitoris!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
YES! YES HE DID!
In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon womans…clitoris
But…right before they did, Jesus had… BOBA FETT turn em into FROGS!
[GOTSWANA:]
Frogs?
[ASMERET:]
You mean like the frogs that got fucked by Joseph Smith?!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs!
For a clitoris is holy amongst ALL things, said he!
[MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS:]
You’re making things up again, Arnold
[UGANDANS:]
Were learning the truth!
[Chorus:]
You’re taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
[UGANDANS:]
The truth about God!
[Chorus:]
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold
When you fib, there’s a price!
[UGANDANS:]
Were going to paradise!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Who would have thought
I had this magic touch?
Who’dve believe I could
Man up this much?
I’m talking, their listening
My stories are glistening
I’m gonna save them all
With this stuff!
[UGANDANS:]
Ooooh- La
[Chorus]
[UGANDANS:]
Elder Cunningham!
[Chorus]
[UGANDANS:]
Holy prophet man!
[Chorus]
[UGANDANS:]
Our savior!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
You’re making things up again
[WIZENED OLD JEDI MASTER:]
Hmmm, up again making things you are-
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
Arnold
Komentarze (0)