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[Verse 1]
I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I’m 5’3 and overweight

[Verse 2]
I’m a Sci-Fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there’s a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace

[Verse 3]
Cause online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6’5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I’m a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine

[Chorus]
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ’em I don’t want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

[Verse 4]
I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac

[Verse 5]
In real life the only time I
Ever even been to L.A
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

[Verse 6]
Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I’ve been in GQ
I’m single and I’m rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that’ll blow your mind

[Chorus]

[Verse 7]
When you got my kinda stats, it’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

[Verse 8]
Online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6’5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

[Verse 9]
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah I’m cooler online

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