Tekst piosenki
Eyo darkness circles luminescent useless confusion of ghoulish essence
Questions that question my view of ethics….it’s
Self obsession,self hate and shelved depression
I’ll kill myself off of twelve depressants
Im disheveled at the delicatessen I ate the bread of oppression and helped the evils in my head of suggestion
Suggesting a presence presented as something deeper in monotone a monolithic creature
Demonic in its features
These devilish darts shoot through the speakers
In school I would take acid in the bleachers
Channel my smarts and stick to teachers but all the while
Niggas couldn’t teach us being taught but niggas couldn’t teach us
How to really cope with reality my happiness is nothing but a fallacy
Dysfunction in my family
Death is recurrent and it’s a tragedy
If I was next would niggas just be mad at me?
I’ve been suicidal ever since a young age
Hyperactive deficit constant motion moving tryna shun rage
Choke myself like…David Carradine
And douse myself in kerosene
Eight years old and undergoing therapy
Puking up my vegetables consumption of the depakote
Abnormal breathing sonics through the stethoscope
Teacher sent a message home he’s moving like a metronome
Out of pocket never kept the weapon shown
Packed a knife he always kept the weapon holmes
Step and he would cut ya neck in sections holmes
Nigga always been a skeptic though
Kids would belittle him little and taking ritalin it riddled him adderall extensions that would fizzle him
This was when he first showed the symptoms of behaviors…
He never knew would make him something stranger
His mother used to beat him..so badly at times his eyes was bleedin
But she was young and maybe there was reasons
One day she moved away for like…two or three years
Salvation came whenever he would see tears escape from darkness even in his in teen years
I’m talking bout my grandpa
Gave me wisdom partnered up with grandma
But damn pa….
Shit is difficult after my grandpas passing
I hit the mic and grab it with a passion
And niggas barely listen….
These niggas they barely listen I swear to god I pray they pay attention
Nigga I try aesthetics….displaying flair but if I die forget it
Cause I ain’t nothing but a diabetic
I wanna cry but nigga I’m eclectic
It’s hectic I’m really on some next shit
Laughing with a razor to my neck shit
Venopuncture numbers of analysis would indicate dialysis
In the future but I always challenge this
I’m breaking at the surface
Whenever I feel worthless
I eat a bunch of candy on purpose…
Constantly I’m calm on some berserk shit….only if you knew just what this smirk meant
Peaceful creature livid on some jerk shit
My thoughts of self are really on some hurt shit
If I don’t die I’m finna murk shit
I’ve got friends that’s on drugs that’s worse than the ones that a nigga rap about
Buying drugs with money from their cash accounts
I cry inside but outwardly I laugh it out… I know it’s not funny…
I’m drinking coke until I’m passing out
Spastic route what you askin bout?
My life’s a fire in a plastic house
Woozy with the matches out
And honestly The few niggas that I fuck with…wanna dodge me on some punk shit
By my lonesome loathing on some drunk shit
I never sailed,I just sunk ship drowning drowsy lousy tryna function
I like…meditation but really no hesitation I’d love to overdose from medication
It’s devastation my head is racing
They’ll find my body stiff in animation
Cold as ice just frantic in the basement I hate this
Pull a gun and give myself a facelift
I’m really feeling like I ain’t shit
I’ve got four sisters and they’re all getting older…
They’re Angels but the devils at their shoulders
I’m losing all composure
But if I die then where’s the closure?
Both of my brothers better be some soldiers
A nigga asked me if I’m feelin myself and with a laugh I said „I’m killin myself”
My life’s in pieces but who’s willing to help?
I always try to keep my feelings in stealth but on the real this shit is stealing my health
I almost flatlined the last time
Out of 12 months I spent the last 9
Off and on of gurneys
Seeing bad signs
Neglecting vitals idle rivaled stifled
Tryna pass time
In honest hopes that I would fuckin flatline
Just thinking „that’s fine”
A year later and I’m going through the same shit
I can’t fuckin take this I hate this
Bloody in the shower taking great wrists (risks)
Picking up a razor going ape shit
And every day it’s just the same shit
No shit I’m a grave danger to my health
Why else would I i kill you and jump in the grave to bury myself?
Words of encouragement come from Eminem
It’s sickening standing in the mirror
With a vicious grin
Kidneys screaming while I’m eating M&M’s
What a ridiculous predicament
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