The Lonely Island Jack Sparrow

Tekst piosenki

[Intro]
Secretary: Guys Michael Bolton is here
Andy: Oh great, send him in
Michael: Hey guys
All: Hey… thanks for coming
Andy: How’s it goin’?
Michael: I’m really sorry I’m late I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon. Have you seen those things?
All: Oh yeah, those are great
Michael: Well I listened to your track and I loved it. And I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you’re gonna really dig
Andy: Oh wow, that’s great. You wanna just lay it down?
Michael: Boys, lets get to it (to it to it to it)

[Bridge: Andy Samberg (Michael Bolton)]
Here we go
Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (Yeah)
The night starts now
Together on the track
The boys are back
The night starts now

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg]
The night starts now, baby, roll with us
Chickies snapping at the neck when we rolling up (Michael: Rolling up)
Club front doors ain’t no holding up
Black card at the bar like I gives a fuck (Michael: Come on!)

[Jorm Taccone]
Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set
Fuck the fellas looking jealous
Play that back and get wet (Michael: YEAH YEAH)
Gun at my waist shank in my sock
You either get cut, get stuffed, or get shot

[Hook – Michael Bolton]
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow
Pirate so brave on the seven seas (Andy: What?)
A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze

[Verse 2: Kiv Schaffer]
Yeah that was kind of weird but we’re back in the club
Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love (Michael: Keira Knightley!)
Mothafucking ice man
I’m the top gunna
Heater on blast
I’m the number one stunna (Michael: Jack Sparrow!)

[Andy Samberg]
Watch your girl because I ain’t your mister nice guy
More like the meet ya take you home and fuck you twice guy (Michael: Yeah yeah!)
All dressed up with nowhere to run
I know I make you feel crazy when I–(Michael: Now back to the good part)

[Hook]
From the day he was born
He yearned for adventure (Andy: NO!)
Oh Captain Jack (Jorma: Yeah)
Giving them what-for!
He’s the pauper of the surf
The jester of Tortuga
But in Davy Jones locker
What lies in store? (Akiva: Yeah, we’ve seen the movie)

[Verse 3: Ande Samberg]
Put your hands in the air
And say hell yeah, come on
(Michael: Captain Jack) What?
(Michael: Johnny Depp) No

[Jorm Taccone]
From the front to the back
Say we count stacks come on
(Michael: Davy Jones) Nope
(Michael: Giant squid) Wrong

[Kiv Schaffer]
Michael Bolton, we’re really gonna need you to focus up
Roger that let me try it with another film (Andy: Wait)

[Hook]
Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (Andy: Not better)
Though I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed
I give Jenny all my love (Akiva: Come ON)
Okay, then I’m a legal aide
Erin Brockovich is my name (Akiva: Oh God)
Then you can call me Scarface
Snortin’ mountains of cocaine (Andy: Close Enough)
You cockroaches wanna play rough?
Okay, I’m reloaded! HA HA!
This is the tale of Tony Montana
This is the tale!
Cubano flame
With Miami nuts
Got a basehead wife
Her womb is polluted
This whole town’s a pussy
Just waiting to get fucked

[Outro]
Andy: Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile
Michael: You complete me
Andy: Yeah, yeah okay