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Dear Abby
Got a problem…
I’m a decent, underpaid, hard-working county coroner
It’s important that my family eats meat at least three times a week
But we just can’t afford to with prices the way they are
So I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects
Just mix in the Tuna Helper and ta-da!
Dear Abby
Got a problem…
The whole family things my new meals are delicious
They ask me „what’s your secret?” Abby, I think they’re getting suspicious
My smart-ass eight year old keeps asking „Where’s all the meat?”
The red dye #2 kind that’s kept in the fridge
If they find out the truth, I don’t think they’ll understand
Abby, what do I tell my family?
Dear Reaganomics victim
Consult your clergyman
Make sure the body’s blessed
And everything should be just fine
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