Bo Burnham Rehab Center for Fictional characters

Tekst piosenki

Well, hello everyone!
Welcome to the Rehab Center for fictional characters
Umm, alright
Lets get right to it
Who wants to start us off?
How about you Chris??

Chris Cringle-

Umm, alright
Hey, I’m Chris Cringle
I’m a sex addict

Hey I’m Santa Clause, I’m the king of snow
I hate my wife because she is a ho, ho, ho
She used to please me every day, then she made it clear that santa’s only supposed to come once a year
Fuckin Bitch
Now I buy whores, rock and roll, and I stuff their stockings with my north pole…

…Okay Chris, thank you!
Alright, who wants to go next?
Patrick…frowny face!
Get up here

Alright
I’m Patrick O’Riley, I’m a leprechaun
You all doin’ good?
Yeah, I’m not doing so good

I had a wonderful life, with a healthy household
And beatiful wife, and a pot full of gold. Ha
Then my wife spent my riches all by herself, and since women are bitches, blew a keebler elf
Uh, now I drink all day and a part of me dies
Cuz my wife is getting gang-banged by the Rice Krispie guys

Hey I know them!

Oh, hey Tony
Nice of you to show up
Where were you last week?

I had some, uh…some stuff to take care of
Hey, I’m Tony the tiger
Fuck it
I’ll just sing it
Every day I wake up, and I get to work late
My boss says, 'hey, whats up?’
I say that I’m grrrrrrrrowing tired of this shit
The kids they laugh, cause I’m a sensitive cat
'Big pussy!’
I can’t argue with that
If another kid gives me frosted flakes
I swear on my life…i’ll eat his parents

Okay Tony, thank you
So thats everybody
So lets just get down to it….
Oh, who are you?

Yeah, hi, yeah, hi, Yeah, hi
I’m the easter bunny, hey I’m back!
Used to be funny now I’m hooked on crack
Heaps of heroine ain’t no joke, marshmellow peeps covered in coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke-coke
COKE!
Drugs for life, that’s my plan, but now I have no attention span…

Okay, I’m just going to go and get him, alright?
Play nice please. I’ll be right back

Hey pat did you hear? All my elves got sick
I think they got herpes from some Irish chick

Patrick O’Riley-

Mother fucker…
What you laughin’ Tony, huh?

Tony the Tiger-
Cause it’s funny!

Patrick O’Riley-

This is gettin rediculous
Santa, Tony could you guys please stop?

Tony the Tiger-

Oh Snap!….crackle and pop
Haha, cuz they banged your wife

Patrick O’Riley-

I’m getting out of here
This is fucking ridiculous