Tekst piosenki
[Verse 1: Bo Burnham]
Before YouTube I walked through life, and now I frolic
YouTube’s been like a father to me
Except YouTube’s not an alcoholic
Before YouTube I was just a skinny white kid
That thought he was funnier and cooler
Than he actually was
And now, well not much has changed
But I have a shitload of money
Because YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas
If by people you mean
13-year-old girls
And by ideas you mean
How they love the Jonas Brothers
I’m just kidding
But let’s be honest
That’s a hefty majority
And if you don’t believe me
Well then you must be a noob
[Chorus: Bo Burnham]
So, Welcome to YouTube!
You don’t know what you’re missing
Just by searching
„Women Kissing”
-It’s YouTube!
This country’s been needing: a
Generation of kids who
Don’t waste their time reading
Am I the only one who thinks that
Lisa Nova’s hot?
And Chris Crocker’s not…
He’s hotter
[Verse 2: Bo Burnham]
Most of the best YouTubers
Are either Asian or they’re gay
So if there’s an untapped
YouTube celebrity
And his name is George Takei
And your favorite coat
Has got a doo-doo stain
I pray to god that it’s
Chocolate rain
And I find videos of
Babies laughing a bit intrusive
Because Barack Obama won the election because of YouTube
Wait, did I say YouTube?
I meant the black vote
And I think YouTube and Fred are
„So Cool!”
And What The Buck!
Will be back in a Jiffy Lube
[Chorus 2: Bo Burnham]
So, Welcome to YouTube!
Yeah…
So, Welcome to YouTube!
Hey…
Welcome to YouTube!
I said, listen and linger
Charlie the Unicorn bit my finger!
It’s YouTube!
The impact is evident
Miss Teen South Carolina just ran for Vice President!
Upload a video
You have nothing to lose!
Except all your friends…
And the approval of your parents…
„Hi, my name is Mary, and I’m 19 years-old
I got drunk at a party, and I think someone
Was video-taping it, but I don’t want
Anyone to see it, cause
I showed half of my boob!”
Sorry Mary!
[Outro: Bo Burnham]
Welcome to YouTube!
Say Hello to YouTube!
Yeah…
And say goodbye to your College Scholarship
And it will keep on going and it’ll never stop!
Until it’s privatized
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