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[Verse 1]
Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction
Forgive our sins
Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues selling faux sermons
Because I am a new wave gospel sharp, and you’ll be thy witness
So gentlemen, if you are going to preach, for God sakes preach with conviction!

[Chorus] (x2)
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation, let us sing it like you mean it
No, don’t you get it, don’t you get it? Now don’t you… move

[Post-Chorus]
Just stay where I can see you
Douse the lights!
…We sure are in for a show tonight

[Verse 2]
In this little number we are graced by two displays of character
We have got: the gunslinger extraordinaire vs. walking contradictions
And I for one can see no blood from the hearts and the wrists you allegedly slit
And I for one will not stand for this, if this scene were a parish, you’d all be condemned

[Chorus] (x2)
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation, let us sing it like you mean it
No, don’t you get it, don’t you get it? Now don’t you… move

[Bridge] (x2)
Just stay where I can see you
Douse the lights!
…We sure are in for a show tonight

Stay where I can see you
Douse the lights!

[Chorus]
Strike up the band!
Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation, let us sing it like you mean it
No, don’t you get it, don’t you get it? Now don’t you… move

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