Tekst piosenki
Around 1978, I met the comedian, Andy Kaufmann
And he was performing this avant-garde Elvis act in a club in Queens
The performance started with Andy playing the bongos
And for some unknown reason, sobbing
We became friends and I acted as Andy’s straight man in clubs and field trips
At the Improv in New York, Andy would begin his show by insulting women and saying
„I won’t respect them until one of them comes up here and wrestles me down.”
This was supposed to be my job
I sat in the club drinking whiskeys trying to get up the nerve
In the meantime I was also supposed to be heckling him
And after three whiskeys I managed to get pretty abusive
Wrestling him down though was really hard because Andy really fought
On our field trips we would go to Conney Island
To try out some of Andy’s theories on cutting-edge comedy
We’d stand around the „test your strength” games
The one with the big sledgehammer in the bell
And Andy would make fun of all the guys who were swinging away
And I was supposed to beg him for one of the huge stuffed bunnies
„Oh Andy Honey, please get me a bunny, please, please.”
Finally Andy would step up to the big thermometer and take a swing
The indicator would rise a few inches and „Try again, weakling!” would flash
At this point Andy would start yelling that the game was rigged and demanding to see the manager
We also went at the rotowhirl, the ride
That plasters everyone against the walls of a spinning cylinder
And stretches their bodies into Dopplered blobs
Before the ride actually starts
There are a couple of awkward minutes
While the attendant checks the motor and the riders
Bound head and foot, stare at each other
This was the moment that Andy seized
He would start by looking around in a panic and then he would start to cry
„I don’t wanna be on this ride, I’ve changed my mind; we’re all gonna die.”
The other riders would look around self-consciously
Should they help? He would then begin to sob uncontrollably
I loved Andy
He would come over to my house and read from a novel he was writing;
He would read all night
And I don’t know if any of this book was ever even published
I have never been one to hope that Elvis is still hanging around somewhere, hiding
But I will probably always expect to see Andy reappear
Someday
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